April 26, 2017
Written by Carmen Pitre, Executive Director at Sojourner Family Peace Center
“Real fearlessness is the product of tenderness. It comes from…your raw and beautiful heart” – Chogyam Trungpa
Trigger warning: this blog contains information about and recollections of sexual violence.
As a survivor of sexual violence, I have been anything but at home in my body. Being kind, raw, and tender-hearted with myself and others was never an option. Tenderness was stolen from me by every unwanted touch, every lie, and every secret I had to carry. Surviving required that I live outside my body, outside of myself, among the broken pieces of who I became… after. Unable to abandon myself and unable to accept myself, I have had to make my home on the battlefield. I have not been at home in this body and I have been at war with myself for as long as I can remember. This is the legacy of sexual violence in my life.
Yet, in spite of this most intimate wound, I know that I am more than my hurt. I am here, broken and whole, breathing… every single day. To be tender hearted despite how I have been hurt is what I seek, what I need, and what I am working towards each day. I have needed other people to bring me home to myself and to body.
As we participate in Sexual Assault Awareness Month, we must remember how very important we are to each other. We must embrace the power of telling truth and witnessing pain for each other. Here are some tips to get started on a path to healing and advocacy:
Witness, Believe, and Hold Space
We must bear witness to the ways that survivors have been hurt. Witnessing pain and creating space for the truth is important work. Without space for the truth, we cannot heal. Survivors need a safe truth telling space; they need support and help with sitting in the darkest places in the universe. Be a helper. Be a healer.
Heal Yourself, Speak Truth, Find Yourself
If you have been hurt, you must know that healing yourself is the most important work in your life. You deserve wholeness, happiness and peace. I know that I am more than my hurt because of the people who have loved me. The blessed people who have loved me and not given up on me despite my broken pieces. Find those people in your life who can love you back into being who you were meant to be.
Be Brave, Be Kind, Be Free
Sexual assault teaches us that our bodies do not belong to us. Surviving is an incredible act of bravery. This bravery shines a light for all of us to follow. Being kind to each other, as we heal the most intimate places in ourselves, opens the door to freedom. It is this freedom from the bondage of sexual violence that we all need so desperately.
I invite you to take your seat at the table and to participate in the witnessing that is necessary to our collective healing. I invite you to be a healer, to listen, and to believe the survivors in your life.
#healyourself
#be a healer